Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.
I cried when my dad cut up onions. Onions was a good dog.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist, or join in the fun.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.
Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...
You are not alone.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
