Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Cheer up! Old age doesn't last that long!
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."