Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.