Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.

Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?

Party crashers.

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?

A: They couldn’t go straight.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

They both used to be straight.

Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.

Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

What do you call intelligent people in America?

Tourists.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.