Worst Jokes Ever
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Why is Gennis gay?
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!