Worst Jokes Ever

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.

I am the orphan joke.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

asdf.

Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"

1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.

Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.

I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.

"Lord of the Rings" is about a group of white Americans taking nine hours to return jewelry.

It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.

It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.