Worst Jokes Ever
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Clothes are gay. They're in a closet.