Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
Your dad's a cunt.
I made a video game about a depressed, self-harming goth.
It's mostly unskippable cutscenes though... :/
How did the orphan lose its parents?
Its parents never came back from getting milk.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
Why was 10 scared? Because 9/11.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"