Worst Jokes Ever
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?
They are afraid they won't find home.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
These Afghanistan people suck at Jenga.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
"Spray and pray," also known as a priest with an altar boy.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not the two Twin Towers.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.