Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.