Worst Jokes Ever
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
Freddy, Bonnie, Cheka, Foxy, and Balloon Boy FNAF.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.