I put the fun in funeral.
Worst Jokes Ever
The Twin Towers are like Jenga; you yell "towers falling!"
I made a website for orphans.
Silly me, I forgot the home page.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Yesterday I got detention because I said to the emo kid, "Come hang with us."
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
What can orphans not do in school?
