Worst Jokes Ever
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
I am the orphan joke.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Technoblade says, "Punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?"
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
Daddy, where's my anus?
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.