Worst Jokes Ever
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
What's WWE called in Africa?
Shadow fight.
Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."