Worst Jokes Ever
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
What do you call field day in Africa?
The Hunger Games.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
(Omg omg literally dislike I'm so cringe!)
Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?