Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.