Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Hunter

    • Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.

    The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

    Baby

    • A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."

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    • Baby

    • Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

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    • Email

    • A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

    The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

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    • Indian

    • Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

    In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

    The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

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    • Face

    • Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

    Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

    Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

    Language

    • Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

    Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

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