Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.
Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.
What's a pedo's favorite snack?
Sour Patch Kids.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Say "urine egger" five times fast.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.