Worst Jokes Ever
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
"Dad, how do stars die?" -- "Usually an overdose."
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.