New World War Jokes

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

Adolf Hitler

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.

He never talks about it.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?

Only one came out of the chamber.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.

Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Why was Hitler born? Because he got killed.

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.

My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.

Me: *Realizes*

We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”