Wood chipper jokes
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
