Wood chipper jokes

If trees could kill you, they wood.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.