We cant go over it, we cant go under it, Oh no well have to go through it
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Me and my friend are walking we see a kid my friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents he said yeah I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
Hey guys can we stop making these jokes, If my mom sees this I will never see the sun again. Oh . . . :( continue
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
