Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
US Jokes
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
