Their jokes
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
I hate stairs, they're always up to something.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.