Their jokes
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.