The jokes

Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A paraplegic after a house fire.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

I wish my name was Voyager 2...

So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)

I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.

How many thots have I bullied?

Three. The rest are dead.

What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Russia—the real joke.

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

People with bad past end up creating the worst future...

"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"

"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"

Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.

Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣

I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?

Because they don't need permission from their parents.