The jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What's an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.