The jokes
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.