The jokes
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
Why donβt I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Whatβs the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Whatβs the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
One comes out of the chamber.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ainβt got nun left." Then he died.
Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"
The other one said, "Iβm sapient, you are sentient!"
BOINGZINGA!?!
Why couldnβt the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.