Back

The jokes

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

His hairline doing the moonwalk. Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t even have a hairline.

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.