The jokes
What does Batman have that Superman doesn't?
The ability to visit his biological parents' grave.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
What's the favorite Spiderman film for orphans?
Homecoming.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!