The jokes
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
Why do Chinese people like playing Among Us?
It’s the only place they can vote!
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Walking.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Why is the Rubik’s cube record holder always American?
Because Americans are really good at separating colors.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.
If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.