The jokes
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:
"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"
Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"
Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."
Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."
When you're working in the Twin Towers, but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"