The jokes
What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?
Party crashers.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."