The jokes
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.