The jokes
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher.
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.