The jokes
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
If a baby cow finds a wolf pup, they will be best friends, but when mummy wolf comes, it’s a fight, so the baby cow and the wolf pup made it a secret, but one day the mummy cow and the mummy wolf found out, but no one got hurt. In fact, the mummy cow and the mummy wolf got to know each other, and baby cow and wolf pup were very happy and played all day long. Their friendship will never break.
-THE END-
This was not a joke but a meaning: if you are different, that doesn’t change who you are and your friends are, so be yourself and don’t let people break your dreams, and don’t forget them either. So no matter who you are, don’t let people change who you are. 🐺🐮
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.
Nothing is funny about the Name who died an agonizing death, was mocked, spit on, and humiliated all because we were sinners and God saved us so we could be free from the punishment of sin.
Jesus is sinless and perfect and loving. How dare you!
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.