Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶
- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏
Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers He is never going to stop From Lithuania down to Andorra He has scored a fucking lot Penalties and Tapins The Fields of Faroe Islands He is our GOAT And his name is Cristiano Columbus Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
I was born and raised in Newcastle. My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application, I asked him to show me his skills and experience but he just started diving and asking for pens and tapins, I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend 👫 when suddenly a man 🚶took all of our bowling pins! 🎳 I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant 😱. I instantly realized it was Penaldo 😡
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
-Ghosting👻
-Diving🐬
-Complaining to teammates😡
-Complaining to refs🤬
-Missing sitters🤦♂️
-Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
-Proceed to get 🐐shouts
-Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance Misses a pen From close distance
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
