Stanley jokes

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?

Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.

What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?

Standing Tall.

When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.

You know what’s impossible?

Steven Walking.

Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.

They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.