Stanley jokes

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?

Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.

What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?

"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"

What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?

Josef Vasicek.

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!

Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.

Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.

God: “Steven, join us.”

*sees the staircase to heaven*

Steven: “Shit.”

The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!

Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.