Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
