SOS jokes

I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.

I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.

Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fall off.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.

My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

Yo' mama is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for her gumball.

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

Why did the orphans like church so much?

So they had someone to call father...

My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?