SOS jokes

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

Why did the orphans like church so much?

So they had someone to call father...

My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

Why did I f*** my dad?

So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?

Why is sex with pandas so much fun?

I don't know, it just is. 🐼

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.

Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

Why are Bengalis so fishy?

Because the fish ate them on a daily basis.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.