SOS jokes

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.

So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.

Helen Keller can use Hodled's words because they are so bad.

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭

The cemetery is so overcrowded.

People are just dying to get in.

Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.

Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.

Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(