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SOS jokes

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.

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    • Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

    So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

    If Red gets voted out, what happened?

    Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

    Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

    Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

    Lime, Green, and Purple run.

    Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

    Black killed Red. Black is the win.

    LOL

    Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

    Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

    One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

    One "knight"!!!

    What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

    He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

    So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

    Get it? "Horse-ing."

    So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

    So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

    So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

    Why is Sally on TikTok?

    Because she wants followers, so follow carcar1431 and xox.meg.xox1.

    Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

    It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

    Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

    Son: A ugly girl.

    Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

    Son: A pretty one might run away.

    Dad: So an ugly one might too.

    Son: Yeah, but who cares?

    When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

    I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.