SOS jokes
My sister is so short she can't walk.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
Your forehead is so big we could fit the whole alphabet on there.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"
EVERYONE:
"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
So they could be wanted.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can be loved.
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j