SOS jokes

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

1 hour before:

So let me get...

Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."

Your mom is so fat that she doesn't need WiFi because she is worldwide.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Your forehead is so big, Humpty Dumpty didn’t want to fall off!

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.