SOS jokes
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
Why do orphans like baseball so they can know what a real home is?
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.