SOS jokes

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.

Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.

Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!

Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.

Your mama is so fat, the Marvel Universe disappeared.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.

Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"