A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted somebody to call daddy
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
It's all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
I would create an orphan website..... But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷♀️
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
