Its all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of Dawn. Lets just say Dawn got very mad.
The date is April 1st Somebody asks you what’s you are doing “I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
I would create an orphan website..... But you need a home page to do that. (since somebody stole this joke before)🤷♀️
What's a good way to masturbate???
Get somebody to do it for u
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed". Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore Linda".
How did stephen hawking die? Somebody threw an EMP at him
I was at my boyfriends house and I thought he was cheating on me and he was on the phone with somebody he said he'd be over there soon. so i asked him if I could see his phone he said no and then we fought about until I seen his gun and because I thought he was lying to me I shot him,went through his phone and his friend was still on the phone.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orfan, what are they gonna do... tel their parents
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona? A Cor-owner.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch
Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGET
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
