Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman. No, really. Why can't she drive? Because she died.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
Why did the girl fall off the swing ... because she had no arms or legs
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
