Shake jokes

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

You get a milkshake!

How do you finger a feminist? Shake her hand and call her Theresa.

What's red and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Why do people shake cigarette boxes?

To wake up the cancer.