Sewing Machine jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.