Senior Citizen jokes

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?

Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?