Scotland

Scotland Jokes

Kilt

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Department

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Movie

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

Approximation

The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.

(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)

Murder

Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?

He totally kilt her.