Queen jokes
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost two towers.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"