Public Transport Jokes

What is something that smells yuck? 🤮

Old bus seats.

What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?

Hop on.

I love bus jokes.

"What bus?"

So my bus... goodness.

What is the bus?

What is a bus 🚌?

What do you call a bus going backwards? A sub.

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

Do your buses run on time?

No, they run on diesel.