Plus jokes

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, flags big plus.

What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?

They get a discount at the crematorium.

Why does five plus five equal eleven?

Because it's actually six.

On the plus side, Nicola Bulley no longer has a problem with alcohol.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...;” “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!”

The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no,” said the teacher, terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.’”

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

What's one plus one?

Yo mama.

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

What's tree plus tree?

Sticks!

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?

He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.